So many of us are in such a hurry to race to the altar these days. I don’t get it. It seems the norm now is meet on a dating site, move in, get married and have babies and all this within a year. When did courting exit stage left? I’m not sure why everyone rushes anymore. I think that in this hurried world where we are all trying to cram in life, work and family, people live in a constant state of anxiety and feel like time is running out. Slow down, it’s not.
Because of all this rushing through life, the one thing that suffers the most is our relationships and the strength of them. We take things and people for granted and don’t pause long enough to be present with our loved ones. If you find you are guilty of this, here are a few tips to help you strengthen your bonds.
1. Listen sincerely. Be attentive.
Read=put your electronics away for goodness sake and have a real conversation with no cell phone interruptions. I get so irritated when we’re out for dinner and I see couples on their cell phones. If you wanted to have all your friends there for dinner too you should have just invited them.
2. Be yourself.
Don’t pretend you are someone you aren’t and don’t try to be someone else to please your partner. Be you. They should already love you for who you are. If they don’t, then you have a bigger problem.
3. Don’t expect your partner to make you happy all the time.
Meaning, you should already be happy inside, don’t look for happiness through them .
4. Be open to learning and growing together.
Let’s face it, we all make mistakes. You aren’t perfect either. You will discover new things not only about yourselves but each other for the rest of your lives. Stay open to new things.
5. Give your love openly and freely.
Don’t hold back. Embrace the feelings of true love. Love without expecting anything in return. It will come back to you. Tenfold.
6. Accept them for who they are. Period.
You aren’t changing anyone here. You married your partner for exactly who they are when you first met them and for the person you fell in love with. Accept them. They’re yours now.
7. Jealousy is an evil green monster….
That has no place in your relationship or any relationship for that matter. If you are dealing with this guy then hurry up and get rid of him (the green monster I mean). This is the root and cause of all separations, heartache and frustrations. You will never have a happy relationship with anyone, including yourself, if you don’t learn how to let go of jealousy.
8. Personal space.
You absolutely positively must maintain and protect your own personal space. You don’t need anyone in your back pocket, nor do you need to be sitting there either. Have your own interests, do your own thing, and be your own person. Keep your space.
9. Be flexible.
You’re not always going to agree on everything. Decide straight away how important it is to you. Can you let it go? Then compromise or sacrifice but you must remain open. You can’t always have your own way, nor should you.
10. Do things yourself.
You don’t’ always have to wait for your partner to do something. Sometimes you can just do it yourself and they would probably be very happy about that too. Maybe they have been bogged down with things and simply have no time. If you are capable, do it.
Obviously these little tips aren’t going to make for a perfect relationship but they are certainly a good start. Too many of us get involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. If you are looking for some one to complete you, just don’t. Go look in the mirror. That person is you. Also make sure you love that person for everything they are. Remember, they like who they are and probably not ready to change anytime soon. You’re not a saviour. You are their partner. Their equal. Don’t forget that.
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